React vs. Respond
WHAT'S THE HECKIN' DIFFERENCE
Knee-jerk. Face-scrunch. Jumping when you're surprised. All reactions.
Deep breaths. Long pauses. Nodding with empathy. All thoughtful responses.
It's pretty amazing how much time is spent in organizations and relationships reacting instead of responding. Our nervous system bypasses our gigantic, powerful brain, because we've allowed our nervous system to believe it's in danger. That's what our ancestors evolved as a default to survive.
But really, how often are we in danger these days? When was the last time we were at risk of being pounced on by a saber-toothed tiger?
Okay, more pertinent to present day: could you ever *realistically* end up without a roof over your head, without someone in your life intervening? For the vast majority of people reading this email, probably not. And yet--here you are, not taking action, because of a fear that you won't survive.
Most of your instinctive reactions are overblown.
Yep. Your fear, anger, hurt, sadness, guilt--they're not warranted in most present situations. And the cost is hella high.
What calculated risks have you avoided taking, because when you think about risk, your guts twist up?
How many productive employee hours have been lost because a leader needed to exact revenge on a competitor?
How many opportunities have been missed because feeling "right" was more important than validating the idea?
When we're reacting, we're allowing our past to dictate our future, rather than taking a few seconds to take stock of the present and move forward thoughtfully. And our bodies are the best indicator--start paying attention to your heart rate. The moisture on your palms. The speed of your thoughts.
And instead of reacting, speaking, acting--take one deep breath first. Just that few seconds will give your more evolved self a chance to get back in the driver's seat.
This is the first step in learning how to pay attention. To the areas where we do have control, agency, power, and potential--rather than letting our nervous system take the reins. Taking a deep breath, remembering where we are, and only then making our move.
No one does it on their own. Sign up for a free 30-minute session here to see if this is the right fit for you, and PLEASE forward this email to any friends who might be interested.
A quote I've been pondering:
Many people think of productivity as a matter of work. But broken down, the question of productivity — or more clearly stated, the dance with time — is an existential question. And it’s much richer and denser than how much can be squeezed into an hour here, an hour there. The real question of productivity is how much should be squeezed into an hour relative to who you are at any given point in your life and whether or not that supports the general rhythm that complements the core of your being--whether or not that makes you more of who you are, in relation to your core self and to other people.
--Zat Rana