How To Guarantee Suffering
Has February felt crunchy for anyone else?
"Crunchy" is how I refer to that feeling of being a little bit drained, a little bit overstretched, a little slow to recover. Sometimes it's an increase in anxiety, sometimes irritability, sometimes resistance to things I know I need to do. Ugh, more sensitive to feedback, too.
You know... crunchy. The opposite of smooth.
I call foul. I've been playing by the rules! I stayed committed to my 2020 workout routine; I've been treating my body reasonably well (though the impact of a night out dancing sure does stick with me these days. Ah, thirties).
On top of all that, I had my biggest month ever in January. Win! I took my foot off the gas to recover, so my schedule isn't overwhelming. I AM DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT, DAMMIT!
So why the crunch?
I sat with my coach, Mandy, for the third week in a row where I was just kind of whiny about this. And she ever-so-gently inquired... where is my ego ("little e") in this whole situation?
Oh.
And it came to me: Since last summer, I have been A B S O L U T E L Y over the moon about how successful my clients have been as a result of our work together. Seriously, I cannot think of a bigger thrill in my life to be of such service.
But as I grow and scale, there's an inevitability of batting less than .1000. I mean, if I was batting .1000, I would take it as an indicator that I'm not taking enough risks. But that reality doesn't line up with the UTTER DEVASTATION I've been experiencing this month when there's a setback or criticism.
In short: when my clients are successful, I made it mean that I AM AMAZING!!!
But, when my clients have farther to go, or we have more work to do, I made it mean that I SUCK.
When the ego (that "I" you keep seeing) is too deeply embedded in the service, it cuts both ways. And that rollercoaster is extremely taxing on my energy.
The antidote, luckily, is simple:
1. Keep celebrating the wins.
2. When I catch myself in the belief that "I suck", I powerfully reframe to the question, "How can I be of service?"
Keep momentum, but disentangle self-criticism from the work. The work is NEVER done. I am ALWAYS improving. I can ALWAYS be of more service.
Asking how you can be of service is a natural shortcut around a troublesome ego.
Question for you:
How shall you be of service this month?