Be the Trainwreck You Wanna See in the World
Choo choo, all aboard
My name is Becca Camp, and I am on Team Trainwreck.
It took me a long time to get up the courage to write this email. I see a lot of folks talking about how they cycle through all the feelings--ups and downs. But I'm not cycling. I'm fucking sad and low-energy pretty much all the time.
Personally, I'm not afraid of getting the virus itself. But the weight of our society's collective grief--and anticipatory grief--has triggered a round of something indistinguishable from depression. I feel okay only during client sessions--but the moment they end, I'm back in the dread and despair. I fought it for weeks; told myself I was weak, unproductive. It threatened to swallow me like quicksand.
And that's when I realized: my ability to simply HAVE these feelings is the surest sign of the Emotional Mastery I've been working towards for years.
The obstacle is the way. The only way out is through. Time to lean into FULL TRAINWRECK.
Cry whenever I feel like it.
Procrastinate all I want. Reset expectations if I need more time to accomplish things.
Sit on my yoga mat with the intention of working out, but instead just sit there staring into space for 15 minutes.
Sleep as much as I need.
Scream into a pillow when I feel like screaming.
Eat and drink things that bring me pleasure.
Show up to things I have to show up to, and go through the motions knowing I can go back to bed soon.
Bail on things that I don't have to show up to.
Wait. Why does going "full trainwreck" suddenly look like the real-time processing of feelings, and allowing myself time and space?
THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN RESISTING?!
Isn't it amazing? That the vast majority of us have been walking around, completely unable or unwilling to *HAVE FEELINGS*? We use their existence as evidence of our shortcomings, and often reward people who do the best job faking their absence.
This is not a COVID thing. This is an all the time thing. And in a few months, we'll all be returning to our workplaces, most of us pretty deeply traumatized by what is currently happening to us. Emotional mastery, not productivity, is what will distinguish us when that time comes.
What we're feeling now, if we allow those feelings to move through us in their fullness, will allow us to heal from this and bring the impact we know we're capable of to our work and our lives.
It is we, with that emotional mastery, who will return to our work cultures actually able to lead effectively.
This is our moment to change work culture forever from a place that shames emotion, to a place that honors it.
I want to work directly with anyone who's interested in growing in this way.
Fearless Femmes, my online group program, will cultivate emotional mastery alongside inspired career goals.
I need you. This group needs you.
If you are impacted financially by what's currently happening, now is the time to seek support on your journey. I will be offering sliding scale fees for people who just got laid off or are under some other serious duress. Like seriously, just message me, we'll work something out. Even if it's a work-trade. I've gotchu.
Sign up for a free 30-minute session here and let's chat. And PLEASE forward this email to someone you think is ready to read it.
Are you ready to go full trainwreck? Let's do it together.