How to set goals when you're stuck

How much of the last year have you spent stuck in the in-between? Swimming in indecision, waiting for a sign (or someone else) to tell you what to do next?

What happens, when you try to confront just deciding what to do next?

Are you a perfectionist? Are you waiting for that A+ grade, the sign that you have done everything right, and are ready to graduate? Permission from “people who actually know what they’re doing” to move up? Desperately, in futility, seeking that affirmation?

If I asked you “what’s the next step in achieving your goals” what comes to mind? Is it a concrete, actionable step, or maybe a bit of panic?

If I haven’t made it clear in the past, I WAS WHERE YOU ARE NOW. On the precipice; knowing that I was no longer who I used to be, but with no idea who I was to become. Frozen in an ambiguous fog; energy bursting and churning in my heart, with nowhere to go.
Paralyzed.

Until I finally decided I couldn’t feel like that anymore. Any step in any direction would be better than staying still.

So I got my first coach—to decide whether I “needed” to stay in product, or strike out on my own.

This experience means I know how to evoke all these powerful emotions, to make you feel intensely seen, to shine a spotlight on something you were partly convinced was your ugly secret. Part of the reason is to make you feel less alone. The other reason is to stare at this problem with you for a moment, together.

Because deep down, you know you can’t just stay paralyzed any longer. Life is passing you by. As a kid, it was easy to believe that you were special and talented. Now, you aren’t so sure anymore. And that thought hurts so much, it’s almost impossible to confront on your own.

I’ve dedicated my life to being that hand to people like you. I’ve worked with over 100 women and nonbinary folks in product, many of whom joined the Fearless Femmes community. We’ve clocked tens of millions of dollars in raises; gotten dozens of promotions to leadership.

But in the last year, something shifted. Almost everyone got on their call with me, saying some version of: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!

The collective grief and trauma of 2020, 2021, and beyond, has caused us to re-evaluate how we’ve been spending our time in a big way.

If you’re not sure how to move forward, I’m here to tell tell you step 1 is to JUST PICK A FUCKING GOAL!

Since you feel stuck, you want to build a bias towards action. So what are we going to do?? (say it with me) JUST PICK A FUCKING GOAL!

Okay, so you’ve set a goal, what’s the next step? If you’re serious about investing in your vision and goals, you need community to get there. The folks who will have you back, be your sounding board, uplift you, and maybe even create a position for you. Your community is key in reaching your goals, and like I’ve said if you don’t have community, you’re broke.

Setting goals for 2022 with the reinforcement of the Femmes community will be a powerful act of self-trust. Maybe this time next year, you learn it wasn’t quite the right goal—great. Then you’ll set another one next time, with more information. Onward. Forward. Always learning. Always making new mistakes. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

Moving forward, you’re going to move through life like it’s one big, fun experiment. Rather than dying of uncertainty and fear every day—you’ll break things down into small, actionable pieces, and actually enjoy the journey to achieving what it is you’re destined to achieve—starting with your next career move.

Because you are special. You are talented. Let’s get you feeling that way again, like when you were a kid.