We're Lonely
THE INVENTION OF LONELINESS
I call it “White-Picket Fence Syndrome”. The phenomenon that began in the late 1940s, as an entire generation of deeply traumatized young men returned from World War II.
The government, in the interest of stabilizing these men sufficiently to re-enter the work force, created a system of massive subsidies of three things: a house all your own, a wife, and 2.5 kids. Something to strive for, something to live for, and something to create a sense of purpose.
The secondary financial product--borne of a side side effect that was perhaps unintentional at the time, maybe--was loneliness.
Humans--the ultimate social animals--weren’t meant to live behind a fence.
Our brains, evolved over millennia for a communitarian village environment, weren’t designed to process the “us” and the “them” that that boundary contrived, with only one other adult around to provide support.
So our brains learned to say, “This is me and mine.”
Our brains, desperate to make sense of it, learned to connect by saying, “Gotta keep up with the Joneses.”
Our brains did their best, and busied themselves with “maintaining appearances.”
Then, when our brains first heard, “Buy this, and you’ll feel better.”-- what a sweet relief it was. For about five minutes.
Rinse, and repeat. How clever! By the 1950s, post-war recovery was complete. Economically, that is.
We bought the things, and more things, and stayed within the confines our picket fence, keeping up appearances, mainlining the things directly to us without even having to cross the threshold of our isolation.
The global economy grew and grew, undeterred even by the devastation of a housing loan crisis that predated on the desire we'd been programmed with, generations ago.
Now, loneliness is a full-blown health crisis. By design.
As housing gets more expensive, and our lives get more digital, our white picket fences become increasingly invisible.
Can you see yours?
The antidote is simple: invest in your tribe. Community is encoded in our DNA. Let's be the cause for the pendulum swing back.
Quote I've been pondering:
"Perfection is the stick with which we beat the possible."
- Rebecca Solnit
Question for you:
What would you do if you knew you would fail on the first try?